chaos reigned. For much of my life - through severe depression, pain, burnout, not feeling safe in my body, chronic digestive issues, wanting to exit the earth plane… But it was not to make me suffer. it ran wild to point the way, reorganising and re-attuning me to what was possible - what I came here for: A life of devotion, of ecstatic joy, creativity, and FREEDOM. The feminine was not the one to blame, the pain was not the one to blame, society was not the one to blame. I was not the one to blame. It was never about blame. Or shame. IT was about choice.

My empowered, heart centred choice to live the life that sets my soul alight.

It wasn’t through finding my feet that I exploded with warmth and stillness, but by falling apart, by walking seemingly blindly and feeling like I had completely lost my footing, by declaring my surrender to my fighting, holding, resistance, need to please and control. I dropped through layers of story, identity and illusion, of perception, beliefs and conditioning, of personal and collective suffering and confusion to reconnect with my heart and the endlessness within.

It was a phase of life that I can’t pinpoint because there was no ‘beginning’ nor is there an ‘end’ to this awakening. I see now I was always evolving, that activations and invitations were always being presented, even though I felt asleep, I felt blind, and most certainly I felt ignorant, unworthy and victimised. All of a sudden on days I don’t remember, my eyes began to see clearer as the threads of veils loosened, dissolved and lifted, my heart began to expand to take up the entirety of my chest as I remade it my home, and the hardness I didn’t previously want to admit I’d armoured myself with began to disassemble. I fell apart - Not to come back together, but to consciously and joyfully live beyond the immense smallness I had imposed, to expand more into the fullness that I Am. And still it continues daily, this journey of the ever evolving, ever expanding Self. 

I have been looking back at the beauty of my life and I can see nothing was a mistake, nothing was wrong, I was never truly lost. I never actually stumbled the wrong way. I never actually said the wrong thing or made the wrong choice. But I didn’t see my wholeness or radiance. Now I see it was always there... always lovingly, patiently present, gently guiding and holding me gracefully without judgement... my very essence.

In a thousand places, in a thousand learnings, a thousand lifetimes, it all distilled to one thing: Connection. I Am Here to birth a new way of Being, to live as joy, to embrace the beauty of All That Is as Heaven on Earth.

In Love and reverence,

Lindsay